If You're Dating a Vampire, You're Doing It Wrong
What have we learned, children? That dating a vampire, even incredibly hot and wooby ones like Damon, is incredibly stupid and really just an indulgent fantasy. He's not even human--people look at him and think, oh, he looks human so he must retain some human elements. No, nothing! Barely even the shell of a human. He's an intelligent animal. That's why he's awesome. That's also why he's not date material.