Monday, March 31st, 2008

Time	Event
5:05p	Dutch minister tries to calm Muslims over 'anti-Koran' film THE HAGUE, March 31 (RIA Novosti) - The Dutch prosecutor's office is preparing to take legal action against the maker of an 'anti-Koran' film in an attempt to ease tensions over the film's release, the Dutch foreign minister said on Monday. Not because what he did was illegal. To ease tensions. He did nothing but show clips of terrorist acts, clips filmed by terrorists themselves, and clips of imams preaching to huge audiences, along with selections of the Koran used to justify these actions and sermons. How much tension do we want to ease? Their tension over a film? Their tension over a cartoon? Their tension over a religion that says they're wrong? Their tension over a gay man still living? Their tension over a woman who "dishonors" her family? Their tension over a son or daughter who refuse their arranged marriage? (18 Comments | Comment on this)
9:14p	hat tip tetshira A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip". So next sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass he found the following not on his door. 1. Slip the vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus christ as the late J.C 7. The father, son and holy ghost are not referred to as daddy, junior and the spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey we do not say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the big "T". 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said "Take this and eat it for it is my body". He did not say "Eat me". 12. The virgin mary is not called mary with the cherry. 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub a dub dub thanx for the grub, yeah god". 14. Next sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters not a Peter pulling contest at st taffy's (2 Comments | Comment on this)

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