kc_anathema: Okay, new internet rule.If, in the cours

KC (

kc_anathema) wrote,
@ 2008-05-17 18:48:00

Okay, new internet rule.

If, in the course of ranting or arguing, you use the words honey, dear, sweetie, darling or the more vulgar cunt, twat, then I don't wanna hear any bitching about people not respecting you in an argument. They're diminutives! You're using them to cut that person down as if you're superior, regardless of the merits of their argument.

I hate these words. Hate hate hate hate. They're used so damn insultingly, you can practically hear the catty high school tone behind 'em. In fact, I should take out the words "high school" in the previous sentence because it insults my brats!

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	honeydew_melon 2008-05-18 02:48 am UTC (link)
	Yes. Yes, that exactly. Thank you. (Reply to this)

	valarltd 2008-05-18 03:35 am UTC (link)
	Well, dearie, I'm sorry you feel that way. Would you prefer porn or a lollipop to make it all better? /snark. I endorse this rant 100% (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kc_anathema 2008-05-18 03:42 am UTC (link)
	Gah, that first line nearly makes me go all teh capslock rage. Lollipop, I think. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	thormonger 2008-05-18 04:28 am UTC (link)
	I'll keep that in mind, sweetcakes. :) Seriously, though (and I was kidding above), I can't imagine using the first four words in an argument, as I'm not feeling very nice at that point, and I'd never use the vulgar words at all because they're totally classless. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kc_anathema 2008-05-18 04:32 am UTC (link)
	Thing about those words in a fandom fight is that by then they're being used passive aggressively, which also pisses me off. And the last two words, yes, total agreement. I almost couldn't spell 'em out. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thormonger 2008-05-18 09:08 am UTC (link)
	Yeah, I could see that. I guess I don't get into circles that erupt into fandom fights; I only hear about it from my LJ-friends when they rant about it in their own blogs. Probably the closest I come is ranting about some exceptional shenanigans in the christianity community. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	aubergineautumn 2008-05-18 05:04 am UTC (link)
	.....I've heard married people use those words when chopping down their spouse, but I've never heard it in a fandom wank. Maybe because I try to avoid those. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thormonger 2008-05-18 09:03 am UTC (link)
	I couldn't see myself using any of those terms as a means of insulting my wife in a fight. In fact, I can't think of any instances where I've resorted to name-calling of any sort with her. I've seen some insanity in some of the communities I follow, but I don't think "fandom wank" is a part of that insanity. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	thearchpoet 2008-05-18 05:09 am UTC (link)
	Bleh. While I can't imagine every actually typing those words in an argument (or using them in an argument of any form) I do have to admit that they are a part of my everyday vocabulary. Mostly because I spent my high school and early college years running around three year olds. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kc_anathema 2008-05-18 05:15 am UTC (link)
	Ah, you use them in the nice and sincere way, not the fandom jerk way. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	baka_neko314 2008-05-18 06:48 am UTC (link)
	... Even if we use honey in our everyday speech? =/ (Reply to this)(Thread)

	kc_anathema 2008-05-18 06:55 am UTC (link)
	Okay, one corollary that makes it kosher. ^_^ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

baka_neko314
2008-05-18 07:01 am UTC (link)

I did run into a problem once when I was giving my opinion to someone on someone else's lj and used "honey". She was rather displeased and thought I was being condescending as well, which I didn't get because I do use that in my speech patterns as of the last few years or so. I can understand if someone would get angry over such a thing, but I just use it normally ;-; Ask anyone I talk to in person :D

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	kc_anathema 2008-05-18 07:08 am UTC (link)
	Unfortunately it's one of those times whem the written word fails to convey spoken tone. And when other people's issues make it easier for non-condescending language to be misunderstood. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	baka_neko314 2008-05-18 07:10 am UTC (link)
	Exactly. Luckily I learned that one quickly -.- Either way, i can understand where you're coming from completely. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	twigletmoo 2008-05-18 12:47 pm UTC (link)
	I use those words all the time! But I guess it's different in the USA? Also, I wouldn't use them when arguing with someone, that's just inappropriate. I only use them to show affection for the person that I'm interacting with, and I'll use them regardless of the person's gender... (Reply to this)

	heathen_wolf 2008-05-18 02:20 pm UTC (link)
	I use darlen all the time with my friends online, how is that diminutive? and honey, suger and sweetie are all southernly accented in my head. but my dad is from kentucky, so go figure. (Reply to this)(Thread)

lokifan
2008-05-18 05:36 pm UTC (link)

I think it depends on the context. All those can be used as endearments - although I've never heard 'honey' or 'sugar' used in RL, coz I'm from London! But I know exactly what KC means - when people use those words in online fights and it makes you grit your teeth. Then it's used to patronise.

I can hear that sugar-sweet, vicious teenage-girl tone. Argh. Word, KC. In fact regardless of how they talk, if I never hear another person whine about how their opinions aren't being respected it'll be too soon.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

	graywolf44 2008-05-18 04:21 pm UTC (link)
	If, in the course of ranting or arguing, you use the words honey, dear, sweetie, darling ... I do use those terms, but not in an argument or a rant - only as terms of endearment. As for the other two, those are such evil pejoratives in my mind that I never use them, either in any of my writing, or when speaking. I just hate those two words. (Reply to this)

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